Presidential Elections in Skagway

Throughout the evening on election night I spent a lot of time reflecting on where I am during this election as opposed to where I was -- geographically, emotionally, socially, politically -- during the last election night. On the surface, it really wasn't all that different.

They served Rolling Rock at the Eagles in 2008. It was a simpler time.

This year, just as in 2008, I got dressed up to go out to the bars to watch the election coverage. Four years ago I had a short, cleavage-baring black and white dress that I'd bought in Juneau while on a trip with the high school volleyball team, who I coached at the time. I put that on with my knee-high black boots. At the time, they were my only pair of boots. Leather, with the toe of the left one chewed on a little bit by Merlin. I still have those, but I don't wear them very often anymore. I don't have the dress anymore.

This year, I wore a somewhat more formal dress. It was the bridesmaid dress I wore for Jenn and Paul's wedding - was that eight years ago or so? I also wore black boots, but this time they were my new pair, which have not been chewed by my dog. It turns out that both dresses were significant. The dress I wore four years ago was black and white. As I told people that night, the black and white represented Obama being black and about to enter the white house. This year, my dress was not all about race (why is it ALWAYS about race with you people???), and initially I thought there really wasn't much significance to it at all. It was between the burgundy bridesmaid dress and the green one I had for Andy and Kerry's wedding. Either way, they would've been significant, because of this. (<<-Click where it says "this.)

I was hopeful for a win for Obama both times. Four years ago it was a bigger deal to me. Not only had I followed more of the election at that point, but back then we had still never had a black President. The race card was just a part of it... since I had been following the race I had always been an Obama girl. He was the first politician in my lifetime to speak to my generation as if we were actually significant. He was the first one I saw on the Jon Stewart show, Saturday Night Live, and Facebook. He talked in a language that I could understand instead of using terms that I had to research to be able to follow. And I liked the things he had to say. I wanted him to win the primary, particularly against that cow Hilary. And I wanted him to win the election, particularly with that lovely Palin woman on the opposite side of the ballot.

This year, I didn't really follow the election coverage that much. Apart from Bad Lip Reading, i didn't know anything about the Republican primary candidates. I knew next to nothing about Romney. At this point in my life I'm almost entirely surrounded by people who lean toward the liberal side, so the only things I ever heard anyone saying about Romney were biased from that direction. (Eight years ago, I was surrounded by primarily Republicans. Four years ago, it was somewhat split.) I didn't know what any of the issues were on either of their platforms, apart from knowing the intrinsic differences between the left and right side. Because I lean more left these days, and because I've always been an Obama girl, I wanted Obama to win.

I sat at the Elks with my friends for a little while. I think the last time I wore the bridesmaid dress, I wore it with heels, because I don't remember it dragging on the floor and being stepped on so much. Also, i don't ever wear floor-length skirts anymore. I think I should start again, though, because I feel particularly badass when I'm playing pool in such a girly getup. Even if I am constantly tripping over myself, and even if the boning in the dress makes it hard to breathe and keeps poking me. Although it turns out I'm a better pool player when I'm getting poked. (read into that whatever you will.)

The television wasn't on at the Elks. I told Margaret and Katie both to text me when they found something out. Margaret lives in civilization where they have more access to things like important news, and Katie is a journalist, so I figured between the two of them we'd have it covered. I got messages from them both around the same time saying Obama won. With that, my entourage and I relocated to the Pizza Station.

The coverage was on the TV at the Station. Over beers and meatloaf my friends and I watched intently. There were a handful of other people at the bar and we all chatted a little about what was going on. The most interesting thing to me was that on the map of electoral votes, the states that were red or blue that had already been locked in by electoral votes were, fittingly, red or blue. The rest of the states whose votes had yet to be counted were yellow. Alaska, in that spot it always takes on US maps somewhere near Baja California, was grey. Why? Because no one gives a fuck about Alaska.

I kept thinking about how, four years ago, when the election was on, Allen and I were watching at the Eagles. It was interesting to me to be watching it this year from the Pizza Station. I felt like I should be in the Eagles watching for the magic to really work.

Some of us applauded when the electoral votes reached that clinching number. We watched Romney's concession speech. I don't know a whole lot about him (again, apart from Bad Lip Reading), but the concession speech was really nice, I thought. I mean, I know that they have people writing their speeches for them and all... and the only other concession speeches I've watched were McCain (don't remember it, was too fired up about Obama) and Gore (remember thinking his speech wasn't very good)... but all in all, Mr. Fantastic did pretty well. It got a little intense and the bartender switched the election coverage off, so we opted to go to the Eagles.

And so it was that I got to watch Obama's acceptance speech two elections in a row from the same section of the same bar in the same town. With different people. Holley and I sat and watched , holding hands. Four years ago it was Allen's hand I was holding, and I think I got the slightly better end of the stick this time.

Four years ago it was such a big deal. Either we were going to have a black president or we were going to have a female vice-president. Either way, it would be a first. (If only we knew, at the time, that the other either/or choice was either Sarah Palin is our VP or she becomes the reality show representative of Alaska...) I don't really remember much of what Obama said in the speech four years ago but I remember being inspired, not for the first time, not for the last.

This year as Holley and I sat and watched, it wasn't as historic a moment as it was four years ago. But i was struck by how many times the world has spun around since the last time he was voted in. Four years ago, the shit hadn't yet hit the fan for me since living in Skagway. I was so young, naive, inexperienced. My only priorities in life were Allen, cigarettes, and beer, in that order. I was 24, thought i was 34, and acted like I was 14.

So much has changed. It's like in four years I became an adult through all of the things I went through to get to where I am now. Before Obama got elected the first time, I didn't really care about legislation relating to domestic violence and sexual assault. Shortly afterward, when Palin quit and Parnell took over, one of Parnell's first acts of governor was to declare that he really wanted to crack down on those crimes. By that point, it had become very important to me.

Before Obama was elected the first time, I didn't really care about health care. I never thought about the future beyond the next day, so health care for the long-term wasn't really on my mind. I also had never watched a friend be medevacced out of town and have to run through the gamut of MRIs, CAT scans, spinal taps, and everything else to try and figure out what was wrong with her. I'd never had to watch my friend get stuck with bills she'd have for the rest of her life as a result.

Before Obama was elected the first time, I had no idea that the economy has been pretty miserable. I had only spent a year or so trying to find a real job at that point, and hadn't really tried very hard. I was happy with my summer job, having never spent a winter on unemployment. I felt fairly secure that once I started really trying, I'd be able to find a year-round, full-time job with benefits. I didn't realize how much I needed the stimulus fund that Obama gave me, or the extended unemployment benefits he ended up sending my way. I didn't realize at the time that I had another three and a half years ahead of me struggling to keep my head above water before finally, FINALLY getting a real job.

And, of course, the thought that kept weaseling its way into my consciousness... because some things just don't ever really leave my thoughts... Four years ago, when I came to watch the election with Allen at the Eagles, Stimee was still just a random acquaintance, another one of those people I'd run into from time to time at the grocery store, the post office, the bar... He was just another Skagway guy. I was still a good six months away from getting to know him. Yet another way I was, at the time, completely unaware of so many things about how the world works sometimes.

To that end, it was toward the close of Obama's speech that he said the words that really cut into me and brought tears to my eyes. But the tears weren't related to the fact that my guy is going to be in the White House for another four years. The tears were, once again, Stimee.

"I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting."